A few days ago my daughter was invited to a party. It seemed Santa was going to be there to receive letters. We sat down together the day before and decided to write a letter. She wanted me to write it. Of course, she is 4 years old, and just learning to write. The only thing she is capable of writing is her name. Fair enough, she is only 4, mommy is proud!
I was actually in a hurry…as all moms are. I had a list of pendings that went from a last minute work email I had to send, check if my son REALLY had no homework, get my second daughters authorization signed for her fieldtrip tomorrow, finish packing the Christmas presents for their teachers ( I have 4 kids, just make the simple calculation…yes, a lot of presents!) …and, lets not forget my teenage daughter’s URGENT NEEDS. Everything is urgent with her…patience is not her middle name! Oh, and I was missing dinner to feed the beasts!
So, during Mommy’s Rush Hour, I had my little princess, looking at me with those big green eyes, her box of colours and a paper. It was time to slow down, relax and go with the flow…one task at a time. And yes, the princess was first.
We sat down together, I helped her write a simple 4 word letter and decorate the envelope. Done! A pleasant moment with her… OMG, how nice is when you slow down and realize what you want to spend your time in… and you give yourself the permission to do so.
Next morning I got up and received a message from a friend with a video. My friend’s message was: “ So that you can cry with me”. Well, the result was me crying at 6:30 am in the morning. My kids asking me: “What’s up mum?”. “Just a nice video”. “Oh mum, again crying? “ .“ Yes, mum has a big heart, she cries a lot”. ( Most of the times it is just happiness).
The video reinforces the fact that our children’s best wishes are to be with us, to play with us, to spend time with us. They need US. They need this private time of full attention that we read in most psychology books. The problem is that we not always have a chance to slow down and see them, play with them, chat with them. We are worried of fulfilling our mum duties, wife duties, professional duties…but being a parent is not about duties. It is about caring, sharing, listening, supporting, limiting when necessary, be aware of them. Most important of all, sharing life with them.
Thank God I gave time to my little one the day before. I would have cried much more with the video, and not a happy cry!
The letter to Santa has been delivered on time but I kind of felt I needed to write a letter to Santa myself:
I would like you to bring me wisdom to slow down my life when things are going too fast, and spend time with the people I love the most, my 4 children.
PS: And please, could you extend the day from 24 hs to 36 hs so that I can get all my things done. At least just until the end of the Year!